Bitch magazine is looking for pieces about “Green.”

When I saw the word “Green,” I first thought of naive and inexperienced. What comes to mind for you? It would be an interesting exercise to take one word like this and turn it into an idea.

Words are powerful beyond their literal meaning, so I think there are a lot of ideas that could come from riffing on a single word. Some of you may want to give it a shot, whether for this publication or as a writing exercise on your own.

The magazine calls itself “the feminist response to pop culture.” As an aside, there’s a good example of a word with all sorts of action going on beyond its literal meaning.

Here’s the call for submissions:

Green: It’s environmental. It’s jealous. It’s money. It’s even, sometimes, a little nauseated. You can see the possibilities, right? Potential pieces might include an exploration of intentional communities; the trope of jealousy between women in romance novels; the feminization of the environmental movement; an in-depth look at pop culture’s female financial gurus; and gender and the stoner comedy. Pitch deadline: June 1, 2006

Via Miss Snark I learned about Instant Query Letters Software.

As a writer, “Instant Query Letters” is the kind of easy-to-use software that you NEED to be assured that you have a complete, highly professional Query Letter to introduce your articles and books with. And just in case you’re absolutely computer illiterate, you can definitely feel at ease to know that if you can point and click, then you have already mastered “Instant Query Letters”

Editors despise incomplete, shoddy queries. Your article or book may put Poe to shame, but you MUST have an excellent query first or you might as well forget about getting on the “best sellers” list.

Man, do I feel like a chump! Here I have been writing my query letters every day when I could have simply used this software to write them for me. And for only $37! Bargain!

At least I’m not alone. The website points out that “before he wrote Roots, Alex Haley had received 200 rejections.” Haley must have sucked at query letters!

If only he had had this software, he totally could have published Roots a lot faster.

From a newsgroup list I’m on:

CAB/NET, a new journal of writing, is accepting submissions for its first issue. The guidelines are available on our website: here.

We are especially interested in work that takes a substantial risk and writing that blurs the boundaries between genres (poetry, fiction, essay, etc). We accept submissions year round. We are sincerely interested in new voices as well as established writers, and encourage you to submit.

Last night’s meeting did not follow the typical Word Pirate’s schedule. It became more of an informal meeting about our writing goals.

Because the group was smaller, the Word Pirates had a fieldtrip to a sushi joint in downtown Petaluma where they ate shrimp tempura and unagi. They talked about writing in general — the excuses they use not to write and how to deal with them; how to move into other genres and styles they are not experienced with; how to know if an idea is a good one or not.

They also talked about the writing prompt from the first meeting and how to move from writing exercise into a full-blown story. “What makes a story, exactly?” they wanted to know. They decided to extend the deadline on the first writing prompt so that it is okay to bring in the edited version of the prompt to the May 4th meeting.

The members also reflected on how Word Pirates have already helped them with their writing – Marcia, for example, sent a query to Other Magazine based on this posting. Although the deadline (which was not listed on the website) had passed, the editors at Other were enthusiastic about the idea and invited Marcia to submit again.

All and all, it was a good meeting. The next meeting will be May 4th at 7:30 p.m. at Joy Lanzendorfer’s house.

In other news, I added a FAQ.

Meeting at Joy’s house

Just a reminder that tomorrow night is our meeting at 7:30 p.m.

“Looking back at what and how I write, I seem to begin a new play with two people of completely opposite nature and temperament, put them in an intolerable situation, and let the sparks fly. The extra ingredient, and very important, is that they must both emphatically believe that their way of life is the right one. Then it’s the playwright’s job to support both of those beliefs. . .

“To me, the first 10 minutes of a comedy are critical. They writer must 1.) set up the rules and the situation, 2.) catch the audience almost immediately. One the rules are announced, farce, satire, straight comedy, or whatever game you’re playing, the audience will believe you as long as you stick to those rules and that game.” –Neil Simon (stolen from this month’s issue of The Writer).

I like this because it nicely dissects two things I have noticed in my own fiction writing:

1. You should be sympathetic with your characters even if you wouldn’t normally agree with or like them. You have to find a way into their behavior that allows you to understand it. Doing this automatically adds complexity and intelligence to the writing, plus it is a way around your personal judgment of certain behaviors. I think that’s how writers end up with great, complex villains or we end up with books like Lolita. How could Nabakov write about a child molester in an interesting way without first going to the uncomfortable place of sympathizing with his point of view? It seems to me that this is a way into creating fascinating, different-from-the-writer characters.

2. When you create a fictional world, you are subconsciously setting up a series of rules to work within. You are creating not only the where, when, and how of a physical world, you are creating a series of rules for each character–How does she think? How would she act in this situation?–that all work together to create the overall story. When you work within these rules, you can do anything you want. When you break the rules, the reader will know it right away. That’s why it’s so jarring when a realistic story suddenly shifts into magic realism or when a character does something that’s, well, out of character.

Has anyone else thought about this stuff?

I have a story about a trip to Mexico in my head that I’ve been meaning to write for a long time. Maybe Word Pirates can help me with that. But for any of you who have either written about Mexico already, or can write up 1500 words about it before April 25, The Mississippi Review wants those stories.

Upcoming Issues
April 2006: 1500 Words About Mexico

Edited by Peter Theis

Anything, anything at all. Whether it’s from Mexico, or about Mexico, as long as it has Mexico in it one way or another, we want to see your short fictions (1500 words) that have something to do with this magic country just south of us. Anything with steaming lamb heads in the markets of Xochimilco qualifies. Anything from the town clown who rides his bicycle backwards, to the ugly, short, charismatic man who made rain with a Volkswagen engine on mountain tops, to the turtle reserve and the freshly baked chocolate nut bread on the beach in Mazunte, to the major U.S. banks urging violent “elimination” of the Zapatistas to benefit those in the “investment community.” We want difficult and unexpected stories from or about Mexico.

In other news, Word Pirates is this Thursday! I hope you have all had time to edit what we did at our first meeting and are excited about our second meeting. Yar!

I just discovered Other Magazine in San Francisco. “Pop culture and politics for the new outcasts.”

I haven’t gotten ahold of an issue in person, yet. But check this out:

Now reading for issue #10, the Monkey/Ape Issue.

Send us your hominid escapades! We’re going to be over-analyzing primates of all stripes in science, pop culture, politics and anywhere else we can find them. Sexually harrassing sign-language gorillas, monkeys in literature or music, ape iconography in political discourse. We want it all! 2006 is going to be the Year of the Monkey, no matter what the Chinese say! We’re also looking for fiction and poetry with an ape/monkey theme.

Also, fiction editor and publisher Charlie Anders is looking for short, one- or two-paragraph discussions of pop songs that mention monkeys. Whether it’s George Michael’s “Monkey” or Warren Zevon’s “Leave My Monkey Alone,” we want your analysis of the music and its monkey message. Send monkey song reviews or queries to monkeysongs@othermag.org

I don’t think I have ever entered a writing contest in my entire life. But last week I found one that required about six minutes of effort on my part, and the prize was $50. I entered it and lost. But why should my six minutes of hard work go to waste.

So I submit to you, fellow Word Pirates and other interested parties, my losing entry.

The prompt was: Steven Seagal has announced that he will no longer make movies, and this devastates you. In 100 words or less, write your suicide note.

And I said …

Without facial expressions or vocal inflections, Steven Seagal managed to touch a part of me that I thought was untouchable. He spoke to my heart in the language of fists. The silencing of those fists brings the silencing of my heart.

If his films have taught me anything, it’s that life is but a rigged cage match fought to win your kidnapped daughter’s freedom from an evil gambling kingpin even though you retired from fighting after winning the world Taekwondo championship.

In heaven, an “Under Seige” sequel comes out every year. I’ll see you there.

[signed]

PS - “Glimmer Man” Rules!

Winners can be seen (on the April 10 contest results) here